Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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