I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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