Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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