You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
