JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
