He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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