Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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