So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This toilet bowl is my home.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
