You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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