I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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