His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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