I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
