I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
