it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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