Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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