so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
