**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Couch. On fire.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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