shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
