What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
