I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
