I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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