im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
