Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You were trust falling into bushes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
