office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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