how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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