i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
