I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
