I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pants are for mortals
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize