You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
