He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
