Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
