There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
