when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
