so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
