Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
