ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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