You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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