I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
