...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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