bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
