Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
