okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
