Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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