I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
