You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
