you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish i was in the wii world.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just invented taco cereal.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
