if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
