Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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