His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize