Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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