my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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