i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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