mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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