Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
