i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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