i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
