I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
