her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
