It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
