Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
