Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I supernannyed him into submission
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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