have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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