I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
